Happy Christmas!

Thanks for the news and the updates. I'm happy to hear you are all together celebrating Christmas. It's weird not to be there with everyone but I just keep reminding myself that there will be more Christmases to come :)
I was thinking about how we went to see the missionaries sing last year and remembering how I loved watching the people dance around in their reindeer-ish costumes. On Friday we had a district Christmas concert and I was lucky to hear some really great music. (Latinos don't have as much of a culture of choirs and musical learning so it was a nice surprise).
Monday for our Pday we got to leave our zone and go the big city of David to eat as a district and go shopping because in November we had 11 baptisms when our goal was 6. We are the smallest zone (we only have 5 companionships and all the others have 10 or more) but we are third in the number of baptisms each month. Woot. The Lord has definitely blessed us with success and opened the hearts of the people here in Chiriqui (the province/state our zone covers).
As far as Christmas goes, we're spending Christmas Eve with the Martinez family (the ones that have the daughters our age who we're friends with, one of whom is my long lost sister Charlyn :). It will be fun because they are starting to feel like family too :) They've also invited us for New Years to burn the doll of the Año Viejo. It's this scarecrow looking thing they make and stuff with an article each person adds from the year and then they fill the rest with fireworks. I think it's sort of like a Guy Fox Day but with New Years. There's also a parade on Christmas night so we're going to watch that (I'm not a big parade person but might as well see what Panama has to offer..I think it will be a ghetto version of Holidazzle).
They changed our Pday to Christmas Day so today we're only using the internet and then working after. I'm not exactly sure what else we're going to do on Christmas day because everything will be closed and everyone will be together with their families. Maybe we'll do something as a zone but I'm not sure.
The other day I was writing in my journal and I remembered another story Hermana Madrigal told me when I was waiting for my interview. She told about a type of bird that lives high in the mountains. When it gets old (like 20 years) it flies up to the top of the mountain and goes through a very painful process where it has to remove it's own beak by pounding it against the rocks. Some don't do it because it's so painful, and they die pretty soon after. But if they DO go through the process to remove it, and pull out all their feathers as well, new ones grow in and they can live another 20 years. On our missions (or other times in life) we are like the birds. It's painful sometimes, but it's a growth process and we need it. Deep down, I want this. I didn't have plans to serve a mission, I didn't really want to come, but my spirit needs to shed it's old skin and experience a rebirth. And right now I'm going through the process of pounding out the vices to purge my spirit and help it grow. I keep reminding myself of my old motto: "I can do big things."This is probably the biggest things I've ever done, and I can do it. Even though it's hard and hurts sometimes. BUT. I also need to have more faith that I can do this and be happy doing it. I need to let go of the little bits of my old self and my old life that I'm still holding onto. I need to give everything, all of me, my whole self to Christ. I need to turn myself inside out for Him and let Him in. Only then will I be able to live again. I need to lose my life in His work, and then I will find it.
Welp, those are my thoughts of late. My time is up but have a happy happy Christmas and I'll talk to you Friday!
Love, Natalie
Alma 31:35